The Power of Pickleball

Jan 15

In Grab Life by the Bungees, Chapter 3, “A Widow Walks into a Bar: How to Step Out into the World Socially,” I wrote: “One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to stay physically active. If sports have never been your thing, consider trying something to keep you moving. Besides that, physical activities put you in a social situation where you must interact with other people and make new friends.”

I’m not, and never have been, an athlete. In my life, I had never played any kind of sport competitively. Nor have I been one to make friends easily. But, after my husband died, I was looking for ways to feel better. Thus, I did something I’d never done before. I registered at my local recreation center for pickleball lessons.

That was four years ago. Immediately, I became hooked. Since that time, I’ve played at least twice a week and am continually seeking out opportunities to play. And I love it.

Apparently, I’m in good company. The Sports and Fitness Industry Association reported in 2025 that almost 20 million other Americans play pickleball on a regular basis, and for the fourth consecutive year, it’s been the fastest growing sport in the country.

There’s a reason for that; anyone who plays it will tell you that it’s fun and relatively easy to learn. Its court is about one fourth the size of a tennis court, which leads to closer proximity to other players, and enables easy conversation. I would argue that the game is therapeutic, as well.

My friend Sandy, who is also a woman whose partner died (a “WWPD”), began playing pickleball shortly after her husband died. At first, her grief fog caused her to forget things. So, one of her new pickleball friends called her daily to remind her to show up at the court and play. But grief hits hard and at very unexpected times and places. Sandy sometimes became overwhelmed with sadness while on the court. When that happened, some of her pickleball friends just sat with her on the sidelines and let her cry until she was ready to get back in the game. Eventually, she was playing ten times a week.

Sandy explained it this way: “Pickleball saved me.”

Sandy also told me about the day she had a colonoscopy. Her procedure was in the morning. When she woke up from anesthesia, she asked the doctor if she could play pickleball that afternoon. The answer was no, but she and her friends have decided that she needs a t-shirt that says, “I Play Pickleball Even After a Colonoscopy.”

Pickleball isn’t the only thing that saved her. I think humor did, too.

Playing a game with rules and strategy requires the brain to think of things other than yourself, because you must focus and be in the moment. In grief, so much of our suffering can come from our mind reliving our past. Sports and physical activities can help to alleviate that pain. Pickleball certainly did that for Sandy, and it did for me, too.

In an article titled, “How Do You Show Up?” the author, Barbara Danza, said, “Whether you realize it or not, your very existence and the way you show up in the world affect others --- many others. We may wish to believe that what we do, what we say, and who we are affect only ourselves, but that’s simply not the case.”

When playing pickleball, I’ve learned that how we show up matters. I’ve learned that showing up with a smile, ready to play, with the proper type of ball to share, is a whole lot better than showing up with anxiety or worry about losing or expectations of showing off one’s prowess on the court.

I’ve also learned that not everyone looks at it that way. Because pickleball is so popular, there are bound to be some mean players out there, just as there are lots of mean people who play tennis, golf, football, or basketball. But there are also lots of mean people who drive, shop at the grocery store, or scroll through social media. Let’s face it, mean people are everywhere.

So, I won’t let “pickleball pricks” stop me from having fun. The best antidote to that kind of toxicity is humor.

I’m not a great player. But I work hard to be a player that people want to play with ---- but not because I’m so good at the sport that I’ll always help them win. (Because if they’re counting on that, they’ll be disappointed.) I want to be the person everyone wants to play with because they realize that I know the value of pickleball as a game. It’s about having fun. I laugh at our antics on the court and say silly things to lighten the mood. I contend that humor in pickleball improves my game. Laughing at my mistakes relieves the pressure of competition and helps me keep cool in tough matches.

I love my new pickleball friends. Like Sandy’s friends, they have become a group that surrounds me with love and good cheer. My favorite pickleball players show up with a smile, a can-do attitude, and a determination to enjoy the game, regardless of its outcome. The pickleball players I most enjoy playing with tell jokes to get through a tough rally. They use humor to alleviate problems on the court. They don’t get bent out of shape about calling a ball “in” or “out.” They laugh when things get wild on the court.

For example, in a recent game, the ball was coming to my feet. I knew I couldn’t hit it back, so I jumped a couple of feet in the air, with my legs spread wide as in a jumping jack, so the ball could go between my legs and bounce to my partner, who hit it back to the other court as I ducked out of the way. That not-so-graceful move led to lots of laughter. It was messy but we made the point!

The first time my pickleball friends and I lunched after playing, we got to know each other immediately --- sharing our histories. Amongst us, we’ve endured the death of husbands, children, and parents, as well as the loss of carefree days due to health issues. But also amongst us, we’ve discovered the value of a good laugh. It doesn’t take much to get us going, and we usually laugh so hard and so loud that the quieter people in Panera are staring at us. And then we laugh some more.

And believe it or not, this person who has never really been good at making friends is now making friends one rally and one laugh at a time. The really cool thing is that now I can say these are not just my “pickleball friends.” They’re simply my friends, on and off the court. That’s the power of this game.

Photo Credit: Mark J Media | https://markjmedia.com