What is Awe?
Have you ever sent a photo to someone, and they replied, “Awe!!!” ?
Actually, they probably meant, “A-w-w-w!”, which is an informal onomatopoetic interjection. “A-w-w-w” is the sound we make for sweet or touching moments that we observe, like a baby smiling for the first time, or a child talking shyly to Santa, or an adorable puppy.
But “awe” is a noun that means a feeling of wonder, reverence, or amazement, such as in the sentence, “I am in awe of people who can bake good cookies.” It is also a verb, such as in the sentence, “Her baking talent awes me.”
When spoken, the two utterances sound the same, and people often confuse their spellings and meanings.
The noun “awe” fascinates me. I like thinking about things that bring awe. I recently read a book titled Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Change Your Life, by Dacher Keltner (2023). Keltner defines awe in this way: “Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world” (p. 26). He and a team of scientists spent some time figuring out what brings awe to people all over the world, and determined that the thing that led most people to feel awe was “other people’s courage, kindness, strength, or overcoming” (p. 29)
Keltner’s book shows the reader that “awe” can happen at any time, to anyone. And thinking about things that hold you in awe can, indeed, change your life. (Or, at least, perhaps, make you smile every once in awhile.)
This crazy time of year, during the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it takes true willpower to stop and contemplate anything, much less something that gives you awe. (And really, after all, why must it get so crazy??)
But I decided to give it a try, and I made a daily appointment with awe. When I wake up, I try to spend a quiet moment before the world pushes itself in, and think about just one thing that brings me awe.
I’ve found that experiencing awe is a very nice way to start the day.
I like to recall seeing a gorgeous sunset on the beach, or driving up to a snowcapped mountain, or floating on a river on a boat and watching the world go by. These things are certainly beautiful and bring pleasant memories. But I agree with the subjects in Keltner’s study, and believe that what is truly worthy of awe is to think about the kindness and strength of ordinary people. And when I experience an “awe” feeling, it’s usually about someone’s ability to find humor and happiness even after great loss and pain.
Here are three people I have known who have shown this kind of resilience and have inspired awe in me:
My friend Connie found resilience and found humor after losing her son, and then her husband a few years later. Her son died on New Year’s Eve, and her husband on Easter Sunday. Holidays are a special challenge for her, yet she always has a kind word to say and enjoys a good laugh with me when we get together for dinner.
My grandmother, Thelma, found my grandfather dead of a heart attack in the bathroom. She carried on and lived twenty-five more years without him, teaching herself to drive a car and buy a home and live alone for the first time in her life. She loved to play board games with my sisters and me when we were kids, and made us all laugh with her as she giggled over figuring out how to draw clues in Pictionary. I’m still in awe of how she changed from being completely dependent on her husband to becoming a strong person who enjoyed a good laugh.
My friend Joe, who was the former pastor of my church, lived to 103 (the last 20 years of it without his wife of 67 years). He drove his own car, up until the week before he died. Once, in the middle of the night, shortly after his 100th birthday, one of his neighbors, who was in his sixties, fell ill and asked Joe to drive him to the hospital. Later, Joe told me that when they arrived to the hospital, the ER receptionist wasn’t sure who was supposed to be the patient --- the 100-year-old, or the young guy in his sixties. Joe certainly got a kick out of that. I am still in awe of a 100-year-old driving to the hospital in the middle of the night to help his neighbor.
Sometimes, the kids hold me in awe. One day last summer, I was traveling with my three grandchildren for a weekend. We had gone to an amusement park for the day. It was hot and crowded, and a variety of moods not associated with fun had been experienced by everyone throughout the day. I shared a hotel room with my granddaughter Charlotte. I gave her the key to open the door. She walked in to the cool, air-conditioned, quiet room, plopped herself on the bed, and exclaimed, with joy, “Ahhhh! Finally! No kids!”
I was in awe of a nine-year-old’s happy discovery of peace and quiet --- for however long it lasts.
My daughter-in-law, Sarah, started a birthday tradition in our family, in which we gather around the table to eat, and, one at a time, share what we love about the person whose birthday we are celebrating. My grandson Nick has a November birthday, so we recently celebrated him with a trip to Chuck E. Cheese, and then birthday cake around their kitchen table. The look on my five-year-old grandson’s face, who gazed in wonder at his family members, as they told him what they love about him, simply made me think, “Wow.” How powerful the moment was! I love our new tradition because of the awe it brings me.
Truly, the holiday season is a time to be in awe. I was traveling last week, the day before Thanksgiving, and found myself in awe at the simplest thing. As I sat at the gate in the airport (awaiting a delayed flight, of course), I watched hundreds of people hurry by to catch a flight or claim their baggage. The holidays do this to us. And even though it makes things crazy, we seek to return to our families. We seek to return to our childhood. I’m in awe of how it happens, over and over again, every year. In spite of losses and death and sadness, we seek to find solace again during the holidays. Every holiday season, it’s like starting over again.
Awe can come from memories --- memories of decorating the tree, memories of preparing special family recipes, memories of seeing a child’s face in wonder of Christmas lights, or the memory of picking up a family member or friend at the airport and giving them a welcome home hug for the first time in a long, long time.
I think it’s a good way to spend a quiet moment or two. I hope you find some reason to stop and say “A-w-w-w!” during this very busy and crazy time of year. I hope you find your awe.
References
Keltner, D. (2023). Awe: The new science of everyday wonder and how it can change your life. New York: Penguin Press.
