You can learn to turn off that ugly, negative “chatter” in your head, and use good memories, jokes, or funny books to help you get through the tough times. I’m not minimizing the pain of grief. I know very well how real it is and how important it is to nurture your pain.

When I was in sixth grade, my very excellent teacher, Mrs. McEwen, taught me the power of writing—and of humor. One Monday morning, she began to read some funny stories to the class. She read such stories every day for four days, to give us examples of humorous writing.

I despise the word “widow.” Actually, before I became one, I never really thought about it much. But now I avoid the word whenever possible.